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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

#government #responsibility #citizens #safety #people #defence
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Due to technological developments and globalisation, nowadays, people are more concerned about their safety because most of the technologies are used for the destructive purpose. Public officials play an important role in providing a protective environment for the public. So, some inhabitants are of the view that the country should spend more on a defensive purpose rather on other social purposes. But, I sternly believe that other benefits should be used in
such
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 a way, that people do not need any external help for their safeties. Undoubtedly, local councils must spend huge sum of a money on the overall protection of the individuals. Proper military officials should assign their duties by the military departments,
This
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 will result in a carefree environment for the local communities. Due to advancements in the nuclear technology, scientists should help the defence department of the country to ensure safety against the destructive equipments.
However
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, these defensive benefits can
also
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 be given to the public with other methods, like every citizen of the country must be given personal training on the self-defence. With
this
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, they will protect themselves against any external attack. Public workers should work on providing the basic needs of the needy.
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 will boost the overall economy of the government.
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, more finances can be used for other facilities.
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, public workers should work for the health benefits of the citizens. They should be given free vaccination, treatment of chronic diseases and overall health of the people must be supported by the government. Healthy generation results in the healthy nation and collectively, they are more positive as healthy mind lives in a healthy body.
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, more educational institutes must be built to give free or cheap education to all. Literate people are more aware of their safeties. So, they will protect themselves. To conclude, higher officials should spend more money on the local benefits rather only on the defensive because other issues, will increase overall economy which
further
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 provide the protective benefits.
Submitted by JAS on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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