IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

The benefits of computers in modern society far outweighs the disadvantages. Discuss.

#computers #society
A controversial topic is
wether
introduces two alternatives
whether
 the merits of machines outweighs the disadvantages, especially in
this
 present age.
Although
, there are some drawbacks accompanied with these technologies, I believe the advantages
has helped
Suggestion
have helped
have been helped
are helping
were helping
 mankind more.
First
 and foremost, machines
such
 as mobile phones and computers has eased the means communication. These days, people can now
convienently
in a convenient manner
conveniently
 reach out to their friends, families and loved ones irrespective of location and time zone difference.
For example
, the use of social media platforms
such
 as Facebook, Instagram and Linkdin has enabled individuals to connect with their loved ones from different parts of the world. An additional benefit of the use of computers is that students in high school and college are able to get current and relevant
informations
a message received and understood
information
 online, that can help with their assignments and research
studies
Suggestion
studies, therefore,
therefore
, making studying easy and interesting.
Therefore
, it is safe to say that technological devices
to
Suggestion
for
 mankind is valuable.
However
,
in contrast
 to the opinion given, some people have used
this
 platform to indulge
inciminal
 act
such
 as stealing of bank codes, while others participate in immoral activity
such
 as pornography.The criminal activity can
however
 be printed if stern laws are imposed by the government on offenders, while porn sites should be prohibited completely
.
Accept space
.
 In conclusion,
although
 there are disadvantages associated with the use of advanced technology, the advantages
undoubtedly surpasses
Suggestion
undoubtedly surpass
 them.
Submitted by Mabel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: