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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.

The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize ground and public water supply in a country. Data are expressed in millions of cubic meters.
#bar #factories #ground #water #country #data #millions #meters
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The bar chart compares 7 various factories that utilize
ground
Use synonyms
 and public
water
Use synonyms
 supply in a country. Data are expressed in
millions
Use synonyms
 of cubic meters.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that
chemical
Correct article usage
the chemical
show examples
 industry uses more
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
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water
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 fabric and fuel producers utilize the least.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public
water
Use synonyms
 utilization is higher in food or drinks and machinery manufacturers than the others.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart, the primary industry that uses the majority of the
ground
Use synonyms
 and public
water
Use synonyms
 is from
chemical
Add an article
the chemical
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 industry in 430 and 240 million
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cubic meters (
CM
Use synonyms
) respectively.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
these
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 consumptions in fabric and fuel factories are less with a mere 70-80
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CM
Use synonyms
 for
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 and 10
Use synonyms
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CM
Use synonyms
 for general supply. Interestingly,
while
Linking Words
 the other remaining manufacturers
likewise
Linking Words
 consume more
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
, food or drinks and machinery
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 it the least. In detail, food or drinks factory usage of general
water
Use synonyms
 is at 190
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millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CM
Use synonyms
, as opposed to only 110
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millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CM
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
ground
Correct your spelling
groundwater
show examples
water
Use synonyms
. The same is true for machinery with 90
Use synonyms
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CM
Use synonyms
 difference between the two
water
Use synonyms
 sources. Meanwhile, metal and paper producers are using 190-240
Use synonyms
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CM
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 from the
ground
Use synonyms
 and 20-50
Use synonyms
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
CM
Use synonyms
 from general sources.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ground, water, millions, cm with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compares" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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