Some people become famous when they are at a young age. Do you think this is positive or negative?

todays

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today's

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world, having the right talent can make you famous. In my opinion, being famous at an adolescent age has more negative impact than a positive one. In my

essay

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essay,

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I will share my views on the same. To start with, being famous has

lot

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a lot

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of merits

as well as

demerits, which can impact the well-being of the person. A young public figure is always in the limelight.

Due to

which

Correct pronoun usage

this

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, his privacy is compromised, as his actions

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are

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always being watched by the public.At a young age, it is very difficult for the famous youngster to be cautious all the time,

hence

any negligence in his behaviour in public can lead to a negative effect on his image.

For example

, one young singer was trolled across

the

Correct article usage

apply

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social media for arriving at an event drunk.

Secondly

, it becomes very

stress full

Replace the word

stressful

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for the adolescent to handle all the pressure at an early stage of life.He is expected at all times to work long

working

Correct word choice

apply

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hours in order to meet all his commitments.

This

can strain him both physically and mentally.

Moreover

, at an early stage of life, seeing too much wealth around can lead

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misusing it. In order to overcome, the stress and pressure he

could start

Wrong verb form

started

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indulging himself in

having

Unnecessary verb

apply

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drugs and excessive alcohol at a young age.

In addition

, some famous people

also

suffer from depression, as most of the

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

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with their busy schedules they have very

less

Correct word choice

little

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time to spend around their loved ones. In conclusion, young adolescent has to deal with a lot of pressure at an early stage in life, which could not be easy to handle and can have adverse effects on their physical and mental well-being.

Submitted by bhavika_31 on Sun Aug 11 2019

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coherence cohesion

The introduction lacks clarity and conciseness. Use a clear thesis statement to present your opinion on the topic.

task response

The essay fails to fully address the prompt. Expand on the positive and negative aspects of becoming famous at a young age and provide a well-balanced argument.

task response

Provide more specific examples to support your points. Develop your ideas and ensure that they are relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

Legal age
Marriage
Maturity
Stability
Individual choice
Freedom
Cultural practices
Religious practices
Education
Career aspirations

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Some people become famous when they are at a young age. Do you think this is positive or negative?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative situation?

Lack of fresh water is becoming a global issue of increasing important. What problems dose this shortage cause? What measures could be taken to overcome these problems?

some people think that more money should be spend on protecting endangered species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. and provide your own opinion.

2.2 More and more students at university today are not choosing to study science. Why is this happening? What are the effects of this?

Write about the following topic: A healthy person is often described as someone who has a good diet, gets plenty of exercise and avoid stress. What should people do to stay healthy in your country? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience?