IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Children nowadays watch significantly more television than those in the past, which reduces their activity levels accordingly. Why is this the case? What measures can you suggest to encourage higher levels of activüy among children? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience.

#children #television #activity #levels #case #measures #activüy
Television
 has become an integral feature of almost every household in the world
As a result
, children undoubtedly spend more
time
 watching
television
 than previous generations and less
time
 being active. There are several reasons for
this
 phenomenon and
also
 a number of strategies to encourage children to be
more act
Suggestion
more active
 VC.
Firstly
, televisions have become much more accessible through
pricc
the property of having material worth (often indicated by the amount of money something would bring if sold)
price
 reduction.
Also
, interesting programmes which target children,
such
 as cartoons, have increased in number and improved in quality, which attracts a greater number of
children
Suggestion
child
 viewers. Another reason for the increase in
television
 viewing is related to the amount of
time
 young people and children have these days. Often by the
time
 they have studied a full day, they arc simply too tired to go outside and play or do sports.
However
, it is still vital that children spend enough
time
outdoors playing
Accept comma addition
outdoors, playing
 and being active. One approach which could be taken to motivate young children is to take the
time
 to do fun outdoor activities with them,
such
 as ice-skating or going to the beach for a swim. Running children’s outdoor fun groups and camps is another way to encourage young people to be active. As well as these, schools can run physical education classes as part of their curriculum to ensure the
rccommcndcd
 levels of activity are completed each day.
Finally
,
television
 programmes can build awareness and ideas for physical activities into their shows. All in all, the reduction in the price of televisions together with high quality of children’s programmes and the
time
 children have have contributed to the problem.
However
, as discussed above, there arc several initiatives which could help to combat the issue of increased
television
 viewing and decreased physical activities in today’s children.
Submitted by docjuli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: