IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Essay topics: Some people think that zoos are cruel and all the zoos should be closed. However,other people think that zoos are useful to protect the rare animals. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#topics #people #zoos #animals
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The zoo is always attractive to the children, and families. And many people often visit
such
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 places on different occasions, but some people are not in favour of
zoos
Use synonyms
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 should be dismissed, but comparatively other things
that’
Correct your spelling
that
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it’s
Use synonyms
 very positive and helpful for some rare forest animal breeds. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 we will argue about both points of view, and to what extent we are agreeing or disagreeing and will share our opinion.
Hence
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,
zoos
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 are very popular in public places, where we can visit on different occasions and sometimes
in
Change preposition
on
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 our off days with our loved ones.
Although
Linking Words
it’s
Use synonyms
 quite
interesting
Correct article usage
an interesting
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 and attractive place for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children,
which
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 cannot be avoided. Meanwhile, if we talk about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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animal protection, somehow
it’s
Use synonyms
 unfair to them
,
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apply
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 because they are not born to lock in somewhere. But
in other words
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,
it’s
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 very positive and helpful in other cases,
such
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 as collecting the rare breeds from the forests or those living
creatures
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, whose life is
on
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under
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 threat from the other
creatures
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 and hunters. Well, in the
zoos
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, most of them are certified zoo caretakers and
handling
Wrong verb form
handle
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 everything, systematically
in
Correct word choice
and in
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 a professional way.
Furthermore
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, both groups have their own point of view, but being emotional isn’t always good. Especially, in
zoos
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 they have
a complete first aid facilities
Correct the article-noun agreement
complete first aid facilities
a complete first aid facility
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sick animals and professional veterinarians. Particularly,
for
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apply
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some special
creatures
Use synonyms
,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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always care about
to provide
Change the verb form
providing
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 them
a
Add the preposition
with a
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natural environment for their health and long life.
For example
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,
white
Add an article
the white
a white
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 cheetah is
exceptional
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an exceptional
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 breed, so in the wildlife
parks
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parks,
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 they could provide maximum near the natural environment
for
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In my opinion, maintaining a zoo
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is always
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 and
supporting
Replace the word
supportive
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 act for wild animals and could help
breeding
Change the verb form
to breed
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 in the future.
To conclude
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 from
this
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, the concept of building safari parks
,
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apply
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 isn’t particularly to have different
creatures
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 under
the
Correct article usage
apply
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one roof.
It’s
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
a
Correct article usage
apply
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significant for the science and biology groups for future experiments and for the country to have a unique creature.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the topic and presents the main points of your essay. Additionally, provide a strong conclusion that summarizes the key arguments and reiterates your opinion.
task achievement
Make sure to address all aspects of the essay question, discussing both views and giving your own opinion. Provide more comprehensive ideas and examples to support your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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