There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity, but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People don't appreciate the value of money anymore. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#time #people #necessity #form #leisure #activity #value #money

Nowdays

Suggestion

Nowadays

, the world

economical

Suggestion

economic

economy

growth is steadily increasing, which makes the people to consume all their basic and luxurious needs. People are not thinking to spend limited

money

purchasing

Suggestion

purchases

, when compared to

past

Suggestion

the past

. I largely agree that the

individauls

a human being

individuals

are maximizing their cash flow in

unneccesary

not necessary

unnecessary

items.

Firstly

, the cash flow in our

society

inundate

Suggestion

inundated

this

makes individuals

not to think

Suggestion

don't think

money

is important as compared

to buy

Suggestion

to buying

things in cosmetic

Accept space

fashinable

being or in accordance with current social fashions

fashionable

items

etc

continuing in the same way

etc.

For instance

, people buy more dresses when there is an offer in the clothing shops,

eventhough

Suggestion

even though

the

suffiecient

important in effect or meaning

significant

dresses are

obtain

Suggestion

obtained

obtaining

.Actually,

this

makes people over the moon when pass time with their family, but they

are not understanding

Suggestion

don't understand

do not understand

money

is the only way to enjoy our pastime.

Secondly

, the present generation

are not educating

Suggestion

is not educating

their children that

money

is the

vitual

urgently needed; absolutely necessary

vital

part in our

lifecycle

Suggestion

life cycle

For instance

, in olden days, the parents getting their children to work after they

finishing

Suggestion

are finishing

finish

the day-to-day school. These make past people to value the

money

and spends on essential items.

Furthurmore

in addition

Furthermore

, the present

society

has compare among themselves in the form of

statue

Suggestion

a statue

statues

the statue

. Individuals assume that

society

calculates each other with the statue what they have obtained. To want a position in the

society

, they started to purchase the

luxuious

displaying luxury and furnishing gratification to the senses

luxurious

and

unrequired

not firmly fastened or secured

unsecured

items to live a posh lifestyle.

This

make

Suggestion

makes

the mindset of the people to feel

money

is less

impaortant

of great significance or value

important

. To conclude, the individuals should know the

vitual

urgently needed; absolutely necessary

vital

virtual

role of

money

in the

society

. When the people

starts

Suggestion

start

to manage the

cashflow

Suggestion

cash flow

, they can live the life more happily than what there are presently.

Submitted by revanth on Mon Aug 12 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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There was a time when people only shopped out of necessity, but these days shopping seems to have become a new form of leisure activity. People don't appreciate the value of money anymore. To what extent do you agree with this view?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that modern technology is increasing gap between rich and poor. Discuss both views and your opinion.

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons is it possitive or negative development?

Far too little has been done to prevent animals and plants from dying out, although people have been aware of this problem for a long time. Why do people do so little about it? Give your suggestion how to solve it?

In many countries nowadays, more and more women have full-time jobs as men, so there is logic that men and women should share the housework tasks equally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.