Many people believe that the increase presence of violence in films and television these days is responsible for rising incident of violent crimes among youth society. They argue that government have a duty to control the media so as to reduce this phenomenon. Do you agree with this arguments

#people #presence #violence #films #television #incident #crimes #youth #society #government #duty #control #media #phenomenon #arguments

The rate at which violent crimes

is increasing

Suggestion

are increasing

in our society is alarming.

while

Suggestion

While

many individuals believe that the rise of violent crime is

as a result

of films and

television

, and that the governments should have a responsibility to control the media so as to minimize

the the

definite article

the

phenomenon. I strongly agreed with the statement because the youths are more sensitive to what they see,

also

at a tender age, they believed that what they are watching could be practise in reality.

Firstly

, the

youth

have a flexible mind, and could be easily be motivated by what they see or ear.

some

Suggestion

Some

criminal films being

displace

Suggestion

displaced

television

for entertainment and to teach lessons are being seen as an opportunity by the

youth

to practise crime.

for

Suggestion

For

example, statistics

shows

Suggestion

show

that 50% of the criminals caught

confessed

Suggestion

confessing

that they learnt their strategies from films.

Secondly

youth

are more prone to the negative

part

of a

television

shows

Suggestion

show

than the positive

part

of it. Nowadays, because the

youth

are

Suggestion

more interested in having their

ways

Suggestion

way

withing

internal to, not outside; located in the bounds of

within

the shortest period of time, they concentrated to the negative

part

of a film to learn more crimes than the positive

part

. A recent interview conducted shows that an average

youth

watch some

television

stations meant for the adult while their parent are far away. In conclusion, I concur that the films and televisions are contributing to the high

criminal

Suggestion

crime

rates, and I believed the governments can control the

medial

Suggestion

media

to a large extent so as to reduce the phenomenon.

Submitted by Paul on Tue Aug 13 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

256 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people believe that the increase presence of violence in films and television these days is responsible for rising incident of violent crimes among youth society. They argue that government have a duty to control the media so as to reduce this phenomenon. Do you agree with this arguments

Fully explain your ideas

In many cities around the world pollution levels have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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some people rely too much on doctors instead of taking care of their own health. they think all health problems can just be fixed by visiting doctors. what problems could this approach to healthcare cause and how might they be solved?

Some parents buy their childern a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys.