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Some people say music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #music #culture #ages
In recent times, many social arts
are being
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 employed as tools for bringing
people
 together.
While
 some
people
 are of the opinion that
music
 is one of
such
 instruments used to unify
people
 of varying ages and
ethnicity
Fix the agreement mistake
ethnicities
show examples
, others think
otherwise
.
This
 essay will discuss the reasons for the variations in
people
's
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
 regarding
music
 as
such
Correct article usage
an
show examples
avenue , and why I strongly agree with the group that sees
music
 as
such
peaceful
Correct article usage
a peaceful
show examples
 tool. Lately, different musicians have resolved to
using
Change the verb form
use
show examples
music
 as
Correct article usage
a platforms
show examples
platforms
Fix the agreement mistake
platform
show examples
 for opposing governments and showcasing violence.
This
 is because of their understanding that songs have a strong effect on their audience and can go viral within a split second.
For example
, most Jamaican reggae tracks capitalize on making derogatory remarks about governments and display other negative scenes
such
 as smoking.
Also
, studies have shown that three out of every five albums of
such
 Jamaican
music
 encourage opposition to leaders and social vices.
Hence
,
this
 school of thought strongly believe that
music
 has caused more diversity than uniformity.
On the other hand
, some artists have ensured to preach peace, unity and progress among children and adults from all over the world
while
 singing. They believe songs can stir up emotions positively and affect the way
people
 think and act.
For instance
, a popular
music
 track made during Haiti's natural disaster sometime in 2008, drew the
inputs
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input
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 of
world class
Add a hyphen
world-class
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 performers from across the globe, and
this
also
 attracted positive
response
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responses
show examples
 from
people
 of different religions and tribes towards the incident.
Therefore
, the role of
music
 in bringing
people
 together in
such
 situations can not be overemphasized. In conclusion, many musicians utilize songs differently to either harmonize
people
Change preposition
with people
show examples
 or make their differences obvious
among
Change preposition
apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In my opinion, I totally agree that
music
 has played a major part in uniting
people
 across all age groups and social beliefs.
Submitted by damiloladotsarumi on

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Style
Try to reduce the usage of filler words and be concise in your writing. Also, keep the syntax simple and clear.
Grammar
Avoid starting a sentence with 'And' or 'But'. It is informal and looks bad on formal writing.
Structure
Make sure to refer back to the original question in your conclusion to reinforce your arguments.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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