Some people become famous when they are young age. Do you think is it positive or negative?

#people #age

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Nowadays, it is very common that some people are getting famous at their young

age

Use synonyms

. One of the most vital

factor

Suggestion

factors

that catalyse their invention is the availability of technology and career guidance from

both

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parents and teachers.

However

Linking Words

, some people believe that there are more negative aspects when humans become

celebrity

Suggestion

a celebrity

earlier phase

Suggestion

an earlier phase

of life. In the following passage,

both

Use synonyms

pros and cons will be explained in details before declaring my stance. Mr. Mark Zuckerberg became famous at

very young

Suggestion

a very young age

age

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due to the invention of social media website know as Facebook which helps many people to connect globally.

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

would encourage many children to thrive hard in their inventions in order to become famous.

Thus

Linking Words

both

Use synonyms

the country and its people will be benefitted by new discoveries of youngsters which is eccentric for national development

both

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technogical

based in scientific and industrial progress

technological

aspect as well as economically

Accept space

Moreover

Linking Words

, when some entrepreneurs create new start up which will produce more job opportunities for graduates.

Therefore

Linking Words

, people becoming famous at

young

Suggestion

a young age

age

Use synonyms

can foster many youngsters to take their aspiration

seriously which

Accept comma addition

seriously, which

can do wonders for the society in the long run. On the other side, young celebrities

shows

Suggestion

show

immature characters during public functions, which set a bad example for upcoming generations.

For instance

Linking Words

, Justin Bieber became very famous for his songs and later quickly became

billionaire

Suggestion

a billionaire

billionaires

in short span of time. He spends huge amount in gambling and buying costly cars which emanate his level of maturity to things and ability to decipher crucial decision making.

Furthermore

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, the fame will be easily spoiled due to unethical

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

, which could trigger unwanted controversies.

Hence

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, youngsters becoming famous at

young

Suggestion

a young age

age

Use synonyms

can lead various

Suggestion

can lead to various

disaster

Suggestion

disasters

for many. To sum up, becoming famous at a young

age

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is an extremely intricate process, but due to their unwanted actions in public places,

this

Linking Words

can defame their popularity quickly.

Hence

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, youngsters becoming famous at tender

age

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will lead to

avenue

Suggestion

a venue

of conspiracies which has the tendency to spoil their life.

Submitted by wearedlucky1s on Tue Aug 13 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

336 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Legal age
Marriage
Maturity
Stability
Individual choice
Freedom
Cultural practices
Religious practices
Education
Career aspirations

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Some people become famous when they are young age. Do you think is it positive or negative?

Fully explain your ideas

When choosing a job, the salary is the most important consideration. To what extent, do you agree or disagree?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some say that these are the best people to talk to school students about the dangers of committing a crime? Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those time than they are now. What problems will this cause ? What can be done to solve these problems ?

Nowadays in many countries chemicals are used to produce and preserve food. Do the advantages of this use outweigh the disadvantages?