An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion

#trend #adults #computer #games #people #development

Many young people are interested to play different type of computer games, others are

worry

Suggestion

worried

about

this

trend

that is

growing.

This

essay will examine both

point

Suggestion

points

of views and expands my opinion. With growing different type of technologies and improving world facilities, entertainment and games are more various than past. These kind of games are really interesting and attractive. Accessing to them it is not difficult and

everyone with having

Suggestion

with everyone having

a smartphone or tablet can carry many games with itself

every where

to or in any or all places

everywhere

. Playing

game

in free time and pleasure time can help people to change their moods after a boring or tiredness day. Some of them are very useful and helpful to learn different information from various topics. Naturally

game

helps young adults to be more intelligent and clever. In opposite side, people should control their time.

addiction

Suggestion

Addiction

to computer games are one of the harmful

trend

Suggestion

trendiest

that many teenagers are struggling with and their families

are worry

Suggestion

are worried

are worrying

have worried

about their future.

playing

Suggestion

Playing

game

can affect their

mind and body and cause

Accept comma addition

mind, body and cause

mind body and cause

some mental health.

less

used to form the comparative of some adjectives and adverbs

Less

physical activity is another problem among young pupils. In conclusion, to me, computer

game

can be one of the amazing

invention

Suggestion

inventions

this

world but

Accept comma addition

world, but

playing too much

game

is really problematic issue.

to a very great extent or degree

we have to know that using from everything can be harmful.

Suggestion

should have entertainment as

hobby not

Suggestion

a hobby, not

a hobby not

lose our life because of

games

Suggestion

the games

Wed Aug 14 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

235 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Scientists found that most crimes are committed by people who lack education. Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to provide prisoners with education because it will help them find a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, there is a growing concern over the increasing crime rate, some people think people without education commit crimes, while others are inclined to think education will help prisoners get a job after serving time and avoid committing crimes again. Personally, I partly agree with it.
6
band
Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?
due to the negative effects of human behaviour in modern life, some rare animals are about to extinct, which is considered a threat to the future as the remaining animals would be in danger. I will explain the reasons for this point and some solutions will be given in this essay.
5
band
Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have negative impacts on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
The social media usage such as Twitter and Facebook have its positive and negative impacts for the youngster and their ability to build personal relationships. In my opinion, social media usage for youth can have more positive impacts than the negative impacts
5.5
band
Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion
One of the most highly controversial issues today relates to whether we should home-school our children or send them to schools. This essay will examine this question from both points of view and then I will give my own perspective on the matter.
7.5
band
Because of the global economy. Many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
In this contemporary era, the world is changing by leaps and bounds. It is undeniable fact that many things what people use in their daily lives produced by other countries and transported for a long distance. So, some people believe that there are many disadvantages of this transportation, whereas the others argue that it has many advantages which are necessary for development of any country. I totally agree with the latter view, there are more pros outweigh cons.

An increasing trend nowadays is for young adults to play computer games. Some people say this is a negative development. Discuss and give your opinion

Include an introduction and conclusion

Scientists found that most crimes are committed by people who lack education. Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate is to provide prisoners with education because it will help them find a job when they leave prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have negative impacts on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion

Because of the global economy. Many goods including what we use as daily basics produced by other countries have to be transported for a long distance. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?