in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #shootings #people #guns #home

It is a fact that a number of people are being killed with guns in some places and the shooting rate is rising. Some people think

this

is because that they do it due to having their own weapons. I partly agree

this

point and I will explain why.

Firstly

Accept space

we have to consider that these

crimes why

Accept comma addition

crimes, why

to happen and if a gun is not available, can they not be committed? Personally

Accept space

I do not think so. The reason why these murders is not guns. Based on my experience, if people intend to kill someone, they do

this

whether to have a gun or not. The weapons are tools to commit crime for them.

In addition

, the weapons are

availablity

Suggestion

available

availability

to people do not mean doing crime. Many keep the gun

to secure

Suggestion

secure

themselves in

such

turmoil world.

On the other hand

, it is true that sometimes shootings are carried out unconsciously,

as a result

this

Accept space

statistics on shooting is increasing.

Submitted by Orif on Thu Aug 15 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

162 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

gun ownership
shootings
increase
home
agree
disagree
impact
widespread
access
firearms
psychological
potential
statistics
examples
frequent
responsible
regulations
misuse
inequality
mental health
crime rates

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in some countries the number of shootings increase because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that e-books are the death of paper books while others think that paper books will never disappear? -Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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