IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You are planning to travel and would like someone to take care of your apartment while you are away. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter •explain why you will be away •ask your friend to take care of your apartment •describe the tasks you want your friend to do Begin your letter as follows: Dear……

#travel #someone #care #apartment #friend #•explain #•ask #•describe #tasks #dear……
Dear July, Hello! How are you? I hope you and your family are good. I want to ask you something. Actually, it is about to take care of my flat
while
, I am away. I have to go to Moscow on a layover for three days. In fact, it is not a holiday, you can imagine is like a business travel. Because I started a new job as a cabin crew. I have to stay in Moscow. I will fly from Moscow to all around the world. So,
that is
 why, someone needs to take care of my pets and plants. And, I choose you because you are my best friend and I trust you. Could you help me? If, you are free... Let's explain your responsibilities.
Firstly
, you know, I have two cats. Their names are Patik and Fıstık. They love you.And you need to just feed them. I will put their food in the fridge,you can find it easily
Secondly
, you need to water the plants. I have three roses.
Lastly
, please ventilate the house. These are your all tasks. All tasks will take five minutes.
However
, you need to do these for each day. I hope you will accept my offer. Thank you from now on.
Also
, I will miss you too much. Have a good day. Love Marco
Submitted by ecem.tekben on

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structure
Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and pay attention to punctuation to improve readability.
detail
Consider adding more details about how your friend can care for your pets and plants, to make your instructions clearer.
coherence
Using paragraphs to separate different ideas/topics will greatly enhance the coherence of your letter.
task response
You've effectively conveyed your request and the reason for it, which shows good task achievement.
tone
Your casual and friendly tone is suitable for writing to a friend, which makes your letter come across as genuine and warm.
detail
The personal touches, such as the names of your cats, add a nice touch to your request.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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