Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#workers #doctors #nurses #teachers #contribution #society #sports #entertainment #personalities

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There is no doubt that all occupations make respective contributions to the

society

Use synonyms

they belong to. It is a controversy that more reward should be paid depending on their contribution; in

this

Linking Words

topic, doctors, nurses and teachers deserve to get higher income than sports and entertainment personalities. In my opinion,

this

Linking Words

phenomenon should not happen. To start with, it is certain that we cannot neglect the significant contributions to

society

Use synonyms

that professional workers made. Specifically, doctors who perform surgeries and encourage every patient to thrive to save their lives are responsible for our health and wellbeing as well as nurses. It means that their contributions to the

society

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is essential with high values.

Likewise

Linking Words

, teachers

also

Linking Words

show

Use synonyms

fundamental dedication to

society

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as they are in charge of

education

Suggestion

the education

of children who have the potential to change the future. Like the well-known phrase, “children are the future,” as teachers educate children, they become

more closer

Suggestion

closer

to bringing prosperity and fruitful changes

Suggestion

the

society

Use synonyms

, which means they are a significant contributor to our

society

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, how can we confidently assert that professional workers’ social contributions are superior to sports and entertainment celebrities? Athletes and celebrities are equally important as they

show

Use synonyms

a different aspect of dedication to the world. Many sports stars give hope and motivation to exercise and being healthy.

Similarly

Linking Words

, entertainment personalities motivate people to act

virtue

Suggestion

virtuously

when they’ve done a good deed. People with these occupations

show

Use synonyms

considerable contribution as they provide a heartfelt and positive mindset to civilians. In

this

Linking Words

sense, the two types of jobs

show

Use synonyms

a different kind of dedication

thus

Linking Words

we cannot compare the values of them. To sum up, all jobs, whether is is a professional job or a well-known athlete or a superstar are significantly important as they make respective contributions to the

society

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. We should keep in mind the values of each job and respect them without doubting each other.

Submitted by seobin0602 on Thu Aug 15 2019

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Professional workers like doctors, nurses and teachers make a greater contribution to society and so should be paid more than sports and entertainment personalities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

At present the population of some countries include a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer with relevant example.

In some countries the average weight to people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve the problem?