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Band 4.5

It is more important for school children to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#school #children #history #world
History
 is the study of the past. It is the study of nations, battles, people and events. The study
of
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apply
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involves classroom learning and tutoring. With the advancement of technology, the
world
 has become a global village. It is
therefore
 vital for
school
children
 especially to learn
world
history
. The
world
 is a beautiful place filled with people of diverse backgrounds. Learning about the
history
 of
the
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apply
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places and people is very important, especially for
school
Correct your spelling
schoolchildren
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children
. The
world
 has become a small place with the
advanement
Correct your spelling
advancement
 of technology, a global village if you like. It is
therefore
 necessary for
school
children
 to learn about the
world
's
history
instead
 of local
history
. Education encourages migration, it is pertinent for
school
children
 to learn the
history
 of the places they find themselves at all times.
This
 is evident in exchange programs between institutions of higher learning, students travel from their countries to other nations for the purpose of learning. Learning the
history
 of the places they travel to is of importance. Technology has made it
possibly
Change the word
possible
show examples
 for
school
children
 to make friends overseas with the use of the internet, computers and the telephone. Interaction between friends from diverse backgrounds is
therefore
 made possible and easy. Learning about the
history
 of the
world
 translates to learning the
history
 of the countries of their friends from all over the
world
. Local is small compared to
world
history
,
this
 is because learning the
history
 of the
world
 translates to learning
world
history
. Learning local
history
however
Add a comma
however,
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 limits the knowledge gained by
school
children
. Learning
the
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apply
show examples
world
history
therefore
 cannot be overemphasised.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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