Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

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Educational institutions have a vital role to play in educating the pupil about healthy habits and fitness. I completely agree with

this

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statement.

This

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essay will explain two fundamental activities that schools, who want their students to be healthier, can adopt and practise.

Firstly

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, educational organisations should organise frequent

health

Use synonyms

campaigns which can explain about human body anatomy and how and why different body parts are prone to various diseases.

This

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can promote awareness among students, and they may become more

health

Use synonyms

conscious thereby may

also

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prevent themselves from various diseases.

Moreover

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, they could

also

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identify symptoms of ailments at early stages.

For instance

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, in an experiment conducted by WHO on eye visibility of

(

Accept space

(

among-

of a thing, of it; possessive form of "it"

its

noun and not

adjective

Suggestion

an adjective

) young children, it is proved that schools, who

(

Accept space

(

which) had regular eye inspections, rendered 95% of students with perfect eyesight.

On the contrary

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, schools who did not conduct

such

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an activity comprised only 60% of

pupil

(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively

people

with better eye visibility. Another element that institutes can adopt is nutrition and diet (dietary) classes.

This

Linking Words

would help youngsters to understand how food habits contribute towards leading a healthy life. Maintaining

balanced diet

Suggestion

a balanced diet

is the key to fitness, which is evident in the form of fit body and great physique.

For example

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: The Japanese academic curriculum constitutes “Nutrition and Diet” as a mandatory subject in order to yield healthy future citizens, who are crucial elements for the development of the country.

Hence

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, diseases like obesity, diabetes are scarcely found in

this

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region.

Furthermore

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, men and women in japan carry

attractive physique

Suggestion

an attractive physique

due to their healthy etiquettes. In conclusion, in order to produce healthy population

health

Use synonyms

education is an essential factor, and schools play a prominent role in impacting

Use synonyms

health

Suggestion

the health

of a nation provided they conduct fitness promotions and trainings.

Linking Words

Therefore educational

Accept comma addition

Therefore, educational

institutions should focus more on

health

Use synonyms

sciences.

Submitted by Kavitha on Sun Aug 18 2019

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

Computer games and films containing violence are popular today. Some people think that these are harmful for our society and the government should ban them. Other argue that such games and films are fun for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

More and more people use private cars instead of taking public transport. What are the reasons for this trend? How can the government encourage people to take public transport?

Many small businesses are being forced to close because they cannot compete with multinational corporations. What problems does this cause, and how can those problems be solved?

Compare new and old generation's interests you can mention. Advantages and disadvantages of their interest.