IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries crime is increasing. What are the main reasons for this? What can be done to improve the situation? Support your position with relevant examples and include your own experience.

#countries #crime #situation #support #position
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Crime
Use synonyms
 is rising in a lot of countries.
Although
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 it is arguably impossible to pinpoint a single cause for the rise of global
crime
Use synonyms
. Poverty and Unemployment can be seen as
main culprits
Suggestion
the main culprits
.
This
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 will be explained and
also
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 strategies that can help to improve the situation.
Firstly
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, in a country where poverty
persist often
Suggestion
persists, often
persists often
 drive its
citenzen
a native or naturalized member of a state or other political community
citizens
 to take to
unlawful path
Suggestion
the unlawful path
 to survive.
For instance
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, in
Niger Delta
Suggestion
the Niger Delta
, where crude is generated to boost Nigerias' economy has been left undeveloped.
This
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often make
Suggestion
often makes
has often made
 the people feeling exploited and decides to participate in
unlawful act
Suggestion
the unlawful act
an unlawful act
 to earn a living. When the poor keep battling with survival,
crime
Use synonyms
 is sure to be on the increase.
In addition
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, unavailability of job for
graduate
Suggestion
the graduate
graduates
 is another tool that can boost unlawful act in most countries.
For example
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, a situation where one goes through school and end up jobless for many years.
Such
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 a one can easily go into illegal deeds. The absence of jobs will cause some citizen to take to
crime
Use synonyms
.
However
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, there are ways at which the situation can be improved. One of which is to encourage prosperity in poor-stricken areas. In my home town Igo, a once dangerous locality undergone major
infrastructural
Suggestion
--
such
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 as quality health facilities, additions of schools and clean water supply led to the establishment of a new economical status
for
Suggestion
of
 the people who lived there. Another way to enhance the circumstances is to create more job for the masses. Making reference to Malta in Europe. It has a great number of job opportunities for its masses.
This
Linking Words
 is helping the people stay away from illicit act. In conclusion, after analysing the main issues of increase in global
crime
Use synonyms
. It can be best tackled by reducing the cause of unrest among the people.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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