IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Schools should do more to teach students about their health and wellbeing. Do you agree or disagree?

#schools #students #health
Human
health
 and wellness are vital, so educational institutions should add extra initiatives to educate students about these two aspects.
This
 essay agrees that additional measures are required to make pupils aware of general
health
 and fitness. Allocating sometime, especially for teaching about the human body and its requirements apart from regular curriculum will benefit the students and two measures will be
further
 discussed as a way to make students aware of them.
To begin
 with, daily yoga sessions after school would be a viable solution. Yoga training will
also
 include lectures which give a clear description of each part of the body, and its asana will help the body improve and maintain standards of mental
health
 and physical fitness. Yoga is widely accepted and approved throughout the world, its roots are from India, and it is proved that 100% of the population who adopt yoga in daily their routine will see a drastic recovery in terms of human wellness just in 6 months. Another way is to educate students, encouraging them to consume homemade food. Schools can conduct sessions for parents and pupil regarding the importance of diet, and impose rules to carry their own meals every day rather than relying on fast food available in canteens.
For example
, a school in Japan, does not provide canteen facilities,
therefore
, students consume only nutritious food made at home, and
this
 has a great impact on students’
health
 when compared to their counterparts from the other institutions. In conclusion, educational bodies conducting sports days and having regular classes is not enough, schools should go beyond and promote general
health
 and fitness in the form of special activities which are to be conducted frequently.
Submitted by skomal1510 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: