IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You play sports (e.g. football) for a local team. You recently heard that a player in your team is in a hospital. Write a letter to your teammate. In your letter • • • say how you feel about the news ask about the treatment in the hospital suggest some ways of cheering him/her up

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I hope you are feeling well now. I'm so sorry to know that you were hospitalized yesterday
due to
Linking Words
 a minor injury to your right foot. I heard
this
Linking Words
 news from your brother, I met him in the market when he was buying medicine for you. He told me that you hurt your food
while
Linking Words
 both of you practising for our upcoming match. I am more concerned about it because we have a tournament next week at KYC stadium and you are the backbone of our team. How is your treatment going and doctor suggests a special diet or exercise for your speedy recovery. Anyway, it is a minor injury as per my discussion with your brother, the doctor will discharge you tomorrow and take some bed rest for a few weeks, after which you will be fit to play again. I am extremely excited to see you again on our football ground. Get well soon. Yours Truly,

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure there are no typographical errors such as 'food' instead of 'foot.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider restructuring the letter to ensure that each paragraph addresses a single idea clearly.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific suggestions on how to cheer up your teammate, such as organizing visits or sending messages from the team.
Task Achievement
The letter has a warm and friendly tone, which is suitable for addressing a teammate.
Coherence and Cohesion
The message conveys concern and support effectively, which is emotionally engaging.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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