IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people have benefited from modern communications technology, but some other people have not benefited from; to what extend do you agree or disagree.

#people #communications #technology
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It is undoubtedly that newly-invented technologies play a crucial role in society as a whole. While I agree that online networks have negatively impacted on people, I
also
 believe that the
important
Suggestion
importance
 of e-communication is too obvious to be ignored in modern life. On the one hand, up-to-date technologies have its own disadvantage to the
people
Suggestion
person's
 lifestyle.
First
 of all,
this
plural of "this"
these
 tools lead to the dearth of social connection and decreased human interaction. It means that, as individuals have a tendency to spend a great of their time in using the internet, it is tough for them to have frequent contact and communicate face-to-face with people in real life.
Therefore
,
this
 lack of communication leads to people is vulnerable to be isolated. Another drawback is that the possibility of people’ losing the concentration on their work.
For example
, people could be addicted to surf the web or shopping online, being indifferent to their responsibility and, thereby the quality of work decline.
On the other hand
, modern communication has a positive influence on society. One striking advantage is the newly-invented tools have revolutionized the way we communicate. Most of us have greatly benefited from e-mail or internet chat program
such
 as Facebook or Twister. These incredibly useful technologies enable people to keep in touch with their loved ones in far away places.
Moreover
,
this
 modern technology helps individuals to enrich their knowledge.
For instance
, people can gain access to any information with the click of a mouse
instead
 of spending a day long in a library. In conclusion,
although
 I concur with the negative of up-to-date tools for the whole social, I would believe that the positive effects of the modern communication are far greater.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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