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Band 5.5

Some ex-prisoners commit crimes after being released from the prison. What do you think is the cause? How can it be solved

#ex-prisoners #crimes #prison
It is undoubted that the accelerating rate of ex-criminals after having freedom has ushered in some pressing concerns
for
Suggestion
of
 society as a whole. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some of the main effects of
this
 problem and
also
 offer some possible solutions to it. There are two main reasons why the ex-prisoners have a tendency to return to commit crimes after having liberty. The
first
 reason associated with
this
 phenomenon is that the lack of education and the poverty that the offenders will be faced in the future. As an illustration, some criminal has been locked up in jail in a long
time so
Accept comma addition
time, so
 they cannot adapt to keep pace with the changes of social, causing unemployment and shortage of money to cover life.
In addition
, crimes after leaving prison could be shunned and discriminated against by society.
Consequently
, they will feel depressed and isolated, leading to prone to involve in committing illegal acts. In order to stem the tide of increasing of ex-
crimes
Suggestion
crime
 rate, I believe we must
first
 address its root cause.
First
, government should responsible for educating job-related skills and law system
to
Suggestion
for
 the criminals. Having some knowledge of the job, offenders will be better prepared to find a suitable work which
enable
Suggestion
enables
 them to earn a living after being released.
Furthermore
, people should create an
opportunities
Suggestion
opportunity
 for prisoners who
leave
Suggestion
leaves
 prison to integrate with humanity life.
For instance
, when someone is recognized as a part of
social
Suggestion
the social
, they will live more actively and make contributions to develop the economy, relieving
burden
Suggestion
the burden
for
Suggestion
of
 government and society. In conclusion,
this
 problem is unlikely to be tackled in the short-term,
however
, it is by no means insurmountable and I am convinced that government and social will help criminal have a better life after paying for unlawful actions they do.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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