Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Few believe that the extra-curricular activities
such
as
music
, art and drama should be given equal priority as academic subjects, mainly for children under age twelve. Since each skill adds beauty to the society, encouraging schools to focus on teaching different abilities at an early age, would be a wise decision.
This
essay will
further
explain the reasons to support the given statement.
Firstly
, nurturing children’s potentials will result in a diverse society with different talents. Since childhood is a stage where it is easy to identify the knack one has, and
also
, it is the right age to grasp new learning, the educational institutions must not neglect the other forms of the elements.
For example
, Ken Medema, was challenged with vision, but due to her love towards
music
, she became a famous singer.
Therefore
, it is clearly proved that it is possible to build career in different fields, for the
world
is a place which welcomes all sorts of talents and
this
adds to its beauty.
Moreover
, students’ grades will improve when they add favourite leisure in their daily routine. Those students, who will undertake constant sports or
music
training, gradually progress in academic subjects.
For instance
, an IB school student, who undergoes rigorous training in both academic and non-academic classes, and by the end of his schooling, he will become an adult with multiple talents and most capable to showcase his potential to the
world
when compared to his counterparts who only study traditional subjects in other schools. In conclusion, since talent in
music
and the arts are most valued by people around the
world
, and
also
since it is what children enjoy doing, it should be
additionally
offered with normal curriculum. The inclusion of
such
classes will benefit students to progress in academics, and
also
fill the
world
with different skills.
Submitted by skomal1510 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: