In today’s very competitive world, a worker has to possess multiple skills to succeed.] Among the skills that a worker should possess, which skill do you think is more important, social skills or good qualifications?

There is no denying the fact that the main impact of a
university
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degree
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is arguable.
While
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it is a commonly held belief that being socialized is a very important factor in the workplace,
however
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, others contemplate that owning a
degree
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could be more important than
such
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a skill. From my perspective, I strongly believe that having a strong
university
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degree
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may help an individual to achieve higher goals and succeed in life.
This
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essay will shed light upon why I believe
this
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. On the one hand, owning a
university
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degree
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can help the masses to have several job opportunities.
For instance
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, most directors are attracted to hiring folks
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
have higher
university
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standards. To illustrate, a prestigious journal article published that 70% of Harvard
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university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
students had received well-paid jobs and positions.
Subsequently
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, having an excellent education could allow the person to reach a higher position.
Thus
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,
this
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makes it clear that
university
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qualification may play a significant factor in one's life.
Moreover
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, holding a
university
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degree
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can have many merits for folk in the workplace.
For example
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, the masses who hold a
degree
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, usually possess more confidence to argue with other peers and correct them in information related to their profession.
In other words
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, their study gives them the ability to negotiate about specific information as they consider experts in their profession. From an employee perspective, working as an embryologist and having a master's
degree
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in it, I have the confidence now to correct my peers about an embryo annotation and
also
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I can certainly choose the perfect embryo for transfer to the mother.
Hence
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, It becomes apparent that holding a strong qualification might be more significant than having social skills. In conclusion, in my opinion, I consider that possessing a substantial
university
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degree
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would be better than owning social skills.
This
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is because a
university
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degree
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will open many doors for the folks
as well as
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allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
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them to be experts and more confident in their area of profession.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction. You did mention your belief, but try to make it more direct.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use clear linking words between your ideas. This will help the reader follow your argument better. For example, use 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally'.
Task Achievement
Include more examples to support your points. This will help to make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your opinion. This is very good!
Task Achievement
You provided personal experience which makes your argument more relatable and strong.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • networking
  • relationship-building
  • effective communication
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • productivity
  • job satisfaction
  • technical expertise
  • prerequisite
  • essential knowledge
  • problem-solving skills
  • leadership
  • negotiation
  • managing teams
  • resolving conflicts
  • motivating
  • adaptability
  • diverse cultural settings
  • resilient
  • career advancement
  • specialized roles
  • advanced degrees
  • certifications
  • competitive edge
  • job market
  • technical know-how
  • interact effectively
  • colleagues
  • clients
  • superiors
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