In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. what has caused this ? what solutions can you suggest ?

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Personal statement and Study Plan To: whom it may concern! Dear Sir/Madam From a

remote landlocked

Accept comma addition

remote, landlocked

country, I am Khwaja Walid Sharaar, From Parwan a city of Afghanistan. I was born in 1993 within a dark period where seeking shelter and food were the priorities and education almost forgotten. My father was an engineer and my mom is a housewife, these two were the two blessed souls always encouraging me to learn from the beginning. I joined school in a hard situation, but insecurity, poverty and war didn`t stop me from learning on

such

Linking Words

situation my family

persuade

Suggestion

persuades

me for continuing my studies. I went through school

career

Use synonyms

with plenty of

hardships but

Suggestion

hardship, but

hardship but

reached the finish line with success and a high degree. Since high school

graduation I

Accept comma addition

graduation, I

was fond of continuing my higher education specially my master`s abroad my homeland for making new experiences, meeting new people, new environments and intellectual exchange with others. Relying on expanding my knowledge and what I already have in my mind, I have always tried new ways of learning, how to solve a problem of my own more often by myself. By and by,

such

Linking Words

activities, commendations and own volitions become my commitment and sentiment I choose to become a computer expert. I lucked out and got admission in Kabul University at Computer Science faculty. Learning Software

development

Use synonyms

for four years, conducting various projects and acquaintance of new fellows and professors in a new environment were derivations for me to become more interested and

hardworking

Suggestion

hard working

in started field. During university

career

Use synonyms

, we were involved both in experimental and theory based studies and we were working on different assignments and presentations in teams and groups. I was specifically interested in subjects

such

Linking Words

Database

Use synonyms

Development

Use synonyms

, Communication skills, Project Management and Information Management Systems. I have done several field works during university

career

Use synonyms

. Late 2012 I started working as

internship

Suggestion

intern ship

in Afghanistan Health Information Management System HMIS-MoPH (Ministry of Public Health) department for betterment of my experience in the field. On January 2013, I officially joined Health Management Information System Department under supervision of Evaluation and Health Information System General Directorate of Public Health Ministry. As a

Database

Use synonyms

Manager Assistant, I was developing, collecting data from 34 provinces of HMIS replicas, analysis,

onsite

taking place or located at the site

on-site

troubleshooting of databases, making reports and supervision of HMIS systems implementation throughout Afghanistan. That was starting point for my

career

Use synonyms

after one and half year I was promoted to

positon

the particular portion of space occupied by something

position

positions

Database

Use synonyms

Manager.

However

Linking Words

, in

past position

Suggestion

the past position

past positions

, I was developing and maintaining some information

systems but

Accept comma addition

systems, but

while I started working as

Database

Use synonyms

Manager I deal to work mostly in

development

Use synonyms

phase, departmental budget planning for

preplanned

Suggestion

workshops, I implemented and conducted

database

Use synonyms

and data using workshops around the country for related persons. In 2014, I acquired membership of Afghanistan Developer Community Codeweekend. In the same years, several technology

gathering

Suggestion

gatherings

, conferences and round table were held up in different

development

Use synonyms

private companies by the association board and members.

For instance

Linking Words

, Introducing new technologies and we worked together in

real project

Suggestion

real projects

a real project

Thus

Linking Words

, considering these gaps and challenges I was convinced to advance my education in Computer Science. I think studying at abroad is a unique opportunity for me to fulfil my dreams of becoming an excellent computer science expert. Being a part of

applied master degree

Suggestion

an applied master degree

as a participant will expose me to some international experiences and I will learn many new lessons.

As a result

Linking Words

, it motivates me to get advantages of

this

Linking Words

course, which will build on my capacity, and I would be able to contribute in

Use synonyms

development

Suggestion

the development

and strengthening an effective and efficient system in Afghanistan. Giving a chance

Suggestion

for

applicants from vital sectors like health, which has a high demand for professionals and experts throughout the

world specifically

Accept comma addition

world, specifically

in poor countries and the least developed countries like Afghanistan, will overcome health challenges worldwide. Regards Khwaja Walid Sharaar Bachelor of Computer Science in Software Engineering Kabul, Afghanistan

Wed Aug 21 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

13 paragraphs

656 words

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In recent years, there has been a considerable rise in crimes committed by young people in cities. what has caused this ? what solutions can you suggest ?

Fully explain your ideas

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourist who visit such places?

Write a letter to a friend to inform him/her about a job opening in your company. Describe the job; 1) write about the job. 2) How is it suitable for your friend? 3) How to apply for the job.

In many parts of the world, some famous people are considered as ‘role models’ and they are having an increasing influence on the young. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays many people have Access to computers on a wide basis and large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done minimize bad effects?

Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behavior. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons.