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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Why do students prefer doing part-time jobs during their studies? Do you this it has more advantages or disadvantage?

#students #jobs #studies
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Pupils being engaged in part-time work
is
Suggestion
are
 quite a common scenario in the contemporary era. Students like to indulge in
employment
Use synonyms
 whilst studying in order to be a helping hand to their families, and it is considered to bear
fruits
Suggestion
fruit
 in the future rather than affecting the children. To embark on, children are sagacious and comprehend the hardships of modern life. So, they want to be productive for their parents, and
therefore
Linking Words
, they take up
employment
Use synonyms
 opportunities though for
specific duration
Suggestion
a specific duration
 so that studies do not take a back seat. Even if the offspring could not do enough, they could
atleast
Suggestion
at least
 manage to arrange funds to patronize a bit of their academic curriculum. To exemplify, a survey inferred that 72% of the adolescents funded a part of their education through part-time
employment
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the generation of today
prioritize
Suggestion
prioritizes
 to work to alleviate some burden from their parents’ shoulders. To elucidate
further
Linking Words
, I espouse the merits that comes along with part-time jobs.
Besides
Linking Words
 being a support pillar, students flourish in the pursuits they undertake as they get exposure in the real market.
For instance
Linking Words
,
mostly
Suggestion
most
 sales positions are rendered to novices sans any accreditation.
Thus
Linking Words
, by venturing out, children will adopt multifaceted techniques to lure clients and would eventually be proficient in the specific sphere.
This
Linking Words
 way, the young mind will get experience and by the time, the individual will be conferred with a degree, the aspiring employee would be well-versed with the market knowledge and tacts in order to attain a lucrative job offer.
Hence
Linking Words
, students who work part time simultaneously with studies thrive in all endeavours. To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words
 pupils prefer to be employed part time for financial reasons, they
become
Suggestion
will become
 equipped with requisite edification and experience to procure an excellent
employment
Use synonyms
 in the future.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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