IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What solution can you suggest to deal with this situation?

#professionals #doctors #teachers #countries #work #situation
Professionals
such
 as doctors and teachers are moving into developed countries, leaving their poor countries behind. The number of professionals which are doing
this
 is increasing day by day. But it can cause problems for both countries, which will be discussed in detail in
this
 essay. If professionals kept moving out like
this
, there will be
tremendous
Suggestion
a tremendous increase
increase
 in them which can cause
probelms
a state of difficulty that needs to be resolved
problems
. For examples, there will be
a
Suggestion
an
increase
 in
populaton number
Accept comma addition
population, number
population number
populations number
in
Suggestion
of
 developed countries. Which can result in unemployment,
increase
 in traffic, poverty,
increase
 in crime rate,
poeple
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
 won't have
basic necessities
Suggestion
the basic necessities
 of life etc. Other than that, the poor and underdeveloped countries will in
alot
Suggestion
a lot
 of lost. One of
major problem
Suggestion
the major problem
 is that
undeveloping
 countries will lack in skilled professionals which would cause a decrease in
there
of them or themselves
their
 economic growth. And because of their shortage, the country people find it difficult to get basic facilities
such
 as education and health etc.
However
,
this
 problem can be overcome by government increasing there salary pay. Less work and more pay would be beneficial. Promising them with more benefits like security and health pay, can be helping as well. Government should keep
an
Suggestion
a
 strict eye on them and provide them with extra benefits so that they won't leave their poor country. In conclusion,
lack
Suggestion
the lack
 of skilled professionals and
increase
 of skilled professionals can be harmful for everyone. There are some measures that can stop them by providing them extra benefits.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Brain drain
  • Skilled professionals
  • Healthcare systems
  • Education systems
  • Economic growth
  • Dependency on foreign aid
  • Social inequality
  • Quality healthcare
  • Quality education
  • Retain talent
  • International cooperation
  • Sustainable growth
  • Scholarships
  • Professional development
  • Remote work capabilities
  • Local research funding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: