When new towns are planned, it is more important to include public parks and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The rational plan for different functioning zones of a city or a town before its construction is vital for its long-term development. In many of the functioning zones, there is a discussion over whether the building of public parks or sports facilities should be more valued than the construction of the shopping malls. As a city dweller, I have the inclination to
favor
promote over another
favour
the development of some spots for shopping. If a town
is planned
Suggestion
plans
for more shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
, its citizens can have more access to a diverse life. Many shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
, under the influence of the advanced and trendy belief, are more than a place where the customers do some shopping by splurging their money or there are assorted commodities. In another word, shopping malls are the combination of many other public spots, in which cinemas, restaurants and even some small sized amusement parks can be introduced.
Thus
, with only the planning and building of the shopping malls, the residents can have more destinations to go
to during their spare
Suggestion
during their spare
time, adding more spice to their city life. Another merit for building the shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
centre
is that it can be less influenced by the external weather condition, which can ensure that citizens can enjoy their free time with less restriction. The public parks and some sports facilities are often exposed in
open air
Suggestion
the open air
, and people are likely to feel hopeless and upset if their recreational plans or body-building plans will be spoilt by some unexpected events.
By contrast
, the shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
are modern constructions
which free
Accept comma addition
which, free
from the influence of some natural forces. To conclude, I am in
favor
promote over another
favour
of giving priority to the development of shopping
centers
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
,
although
other functioning zones
such
as parks and sports facilities are necessary to some extent.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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