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Band 6

Some people think high end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #rate #crime
Increasing
crime
rate
 is an alarming threat to any society in the world. Some people say that with the use of advanced
technology
,
crime
Suggestion
the crime
 can be decreased.
However
, I disagree with
this
 statement. In my opinion
crime
rate
 seems to increase with the help of
technology
 in the form of cyber crimes
Firstly
, it is undeniable that
technology
 has helped
countries remarkably
Accept comma addition
countries, remarkably
 in various sectors, but in terms of cutting
crime
 it is still not effective. Even after installing cameras on streets and in public places,
crime
Suggestion
the crime rate
rate
 increased substantially in the
last
 few years. Nowadays, more criminal activities are occurring with the help of
technology
.
For example
, in New Zealand in February 2019, an Australian youngster attacked a Muslim temple while live streaming it on Facebook.
This
 incident shook the whole world as
crime
 had taken a totally different meaning with the use of
technology
.
Secondly
, apart from murders and robberies, crimes over the internet have
also
 increased. Nowadays, hacking personal information has become easier than ever before with the help of
technology
.
For
instance in
Accept comma addition
instance, in
 2010, most of the cell phones in the US got a scam message that they had won 250 dollars from JB Hi-Fi and to access that they need to click on the link given. It was one of the biggest scam, as by clicking on the link most of the people gave access to their banking details to the hackers and lost big amounts of money. To sum up,
crime
Suggestion
the crime rate
rate
 is still rising despite technological
advancement
Suggestion
advances
. The government needs to take charge and make some strict rules rather than relying on
technology
 to curb the
crime
Submitted by skypeharsha on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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