IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that entertainers are more important than scientists? Do you agree or disagree? Support with reasons and examples from your own experience

#people #entertainers #scientists #support
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From the topic I choose to disagree that entertainers are more important than
scientist
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 and I will give reasons with each paragraph. Before we begin, we need to know who is an
entertainer and
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entertainer, and
 who is a
scientist
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.
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.
 An entertainer can be described as a person who is in the showbiz or entertainment industry either as a singer or as an actor. An entertainer is a professional in his field and is usually associated with movies or music. Entertainers like 50
cent
Suggestion
cents
, Brad Pitt are well known and popular and they bring their own influence on our social life either through fashion or the roles they play in movies. A
scientist
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 is usually a scholar or in layman’s
term;a
Suggestion
 very smart person who is tasked or has a burning desire to do research to find solutions to natural phenomenon.
Phenomenons
Suggestion
Phenomena
 are and not limited to
:
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:
 1. Space 2. Medicine 3. Physics 4. Chemistry 5. The ecosystem. With scientists, we have been able to advance in technology
,
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,
 making life better and making living easier through thorough research by findings and inventions done by
scientist
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. Life is
science
Suggestion
a science
 and all what we know today was a result of
scientist
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.
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.
 The knowledge of
space
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space, for
for
Linking Words
example was
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example, was
 started and discovered by
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scientist
Suggestion
science
,
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,
 the human anatomy was
also
Linking Words
 studied and explained to us by
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scientist
Suggestion
science
 and so on. It might even be fair to say that entertainers may not be where or what they are today if science was not seen as an
importance
Suggestion
important
 to the human race.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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