The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effect of this disturbing trend.

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Over the

last

decade, the amount of children who are obese have risen to about 20% in the western world.

This

essay will discuss some reasons why

this

has occurred and examine the consequences of the negative trend. The main cause of

this

problem is poor diet, which can be attributed to the geometric increase in the number of fast food restaurants.

For example

, on almost every high street there is a MacDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Pizza Hut, whose pre prepared dishes has been proven to be very unhealthy (especially full of fatty acids and cholesterol) with their target advertisement towards children,

consequently

making them the majority of their customers.

In addition

, unhealthy meals can

also

be eaten at home and not necessarily at ready - made meal restaurants.

Such

home meals include processed edibles that are easy for busy, career-seeking parents to give their children. The effect of being overweight has Been and will continue to be serious.

Firstly

, there has been a significant rise in the number of health related diseases amongst children, especially diabetes.

This

debilitating illness means a child has to be injected with insulin for the rest of his life. Not only

this

, these very obese children often experience bullying and insults from their colleagues in school, which can tilt them towards depression and suicide. In conclusion, it is evident that there are several causes of obesity in children and a variety of negative effects. The society (particularly the west) has to put up regulations and policies to curb

this

deterioration.

Submitted by P on Sat Aug 24 2019

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The percentage of overweight children in Western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effect of this disturbing trend.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Shouldn't everyone change their behaviour to help protect the environment?

in some countries, it is illegal for companies to reject job applicants for their age . is this a positive or negative development?

Environmental damage is a problem in most countries. What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?