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Band 5.5

In many countries children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it to be a valuable work experience, which is important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion on this?

#countries #children #work #people #responsibility
In the
Third
 World, children are usually sent to factories for laborious
work
. Many people believe that it is merely exploitation, while others think it is a good opportunity for them to have life experience. In any case, children have their right to live and study in peaceful conditions.
Therefore
, using them as
workforce
Suggestion
the workforce
a workforce
 is considered an unacceptable action.
First
 of all, children are not workers. They have just learned about the vast world and do not have any experience or concept of working. Since these innocent children are naive and lack of life experiences, they can be easily cheated and exploited. There are many examples of
this
 in poor nations. Because using children is cheap and
easily
Suggestion
easy
 to control, many enterprises hire them and don’t pay them much.
Although
 the government in these countries has tried its best,
this
 kind of taking advantage of children cannot be eliminated.
Moreover
, children do not need
such
 thing as ‘valuable
work
 experience’
that is
 supposedly ‘important for learning and taking responsibility’. The brief responsibility of children is learning. They are not old enough to understand what working experiences are.
Nevertheless
, they can help parents do chores or housework.
This
 will be a much better way for them to become more responsible for family.
In addition
, childhood is one of the most remarkable memories and must not be taken away by forcing them to
work
. In conclusion, since all children are
the great
Suggestion
the greatest
 concern of parent and society, they should be allowed to enjoy life and educated rather than encouraging them to
work
.
Hence
, one must ponder what view is actually appropriate for the sake of the children.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Child labor
  • Exploitation
  • Minimum age
  • Work experience
  • Survival
  • Taking responsibility
  • Education
  • Poverty
  • Legal restrictions
  • Physical toll
  • Psychological impact
  • Cultural perceptions
  • International conventions
  • Economic impact
  • Work-study programs
  • Skilled labor
  • Unskilled labor
  • Developing economies
  • Moral implications
  • Professional development
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