IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Juvenile crime is attributed to the violence in media. Do you agree or disagree? What are the solutions?

#crime #violence #media
Task 2 topics: In the modern world, the alarming rise in the juvenile crime rate has been linked to the excessive aggression offered in media and games. I agree that the escalating of youth delinquency is equated to the blaze of violence in media.
However
, strategies should be formulated to impede the progression of
this
 phenomenon. Perhaps one of the main reasons for
this
 upsurge in numbers of young offenders is the excessive aggression presented in movies.
This
 is because role models of delinquents are usually the criminals who are portrayed in films as heroes and tend to act violently and earn an easy fortune. In a recent study, which was published by Stanford University, they found that the majority of young offenders are imitating their beloved celebrity in dealing with issues brutally.
In addition
, if the proper guidance was not provided, vulnerable youth could be allured to commit the crime by miscreants or notorious elements without considering the consequences of their actions.
Therefore
, extended exposure to violent scenes from various media streams has encouraged the inclination of children towards crime. To tackle
this
, governments should shoulder the onus with citizens to reach optimum outcomes.
Firstly
, parental control should be imposed on overly explicit violence by trying to limit the time of exposure or offering other activities.
Secondly
, the authorities should censor the content of video-games and media that promote violence.
Finally
, providing therapeutic sessions to the troubled ones that rehabilitate them to participate positively in the community. As a consequence, if the people in power and citizens collaborate, the delinquency of youngsters would dwindle substantially. In conclusion, I would reiterate my opinion that the widespread brutality in the media has contributed to the alarming rise of juvenile delinquency rates. It is suggested for municipalities work with parents to fight against the spreading of
this
 salient phenomenon.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: