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Band 4.5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam’. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can government take to discourage people from using their cars?

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It is true that many cities in the world are under huge traffic jam. I believe that not only the rapid increase of
car
ownership but
Accept comma addition
ownership, but
also
 lack of
infrastructure
 that cause that issue. Due to fast economy growth in
past thirty years
Suggestion
the past thirty years
, the amount people can afford and own
car
 that has
increase
Suggestion
increased
 dramatically.
However
, the
infrastructure
 has been built which was not sufficient for all means.
For example
, in
Hồ Chí Minh
Suggestion
the Hồ Chí Minh city
city
, few
over passes
bridge formed by the upper level of a crossing of two highways at different levels
overpasses
, bridges were built recent years compare with thousands of cars were added. It is clear that the
over passes
bridge formed by the upper level of a crossing of two highways at different levels
overpasses
 reduce the number of hot jam points inside
city
Suggestion
the city
a city
.
Additional
Suggestion
Additionally
, the road
were widened
Suggestion
was widened
also
 help increase efficiency of moving
car
 outside
city
Suggestion
the city
a city
cities
 that help reduce the pressure inside
city
Suggestion
the city
 more quickly. Beside of investing
infrastructure
, the government can encourage residence using public transportation
such
 as buses, metro system to commute that help reduce using
car
Suggestion
a car
the car
. To do
so the
Accept comma addition
so, the
 government
improve
Suggestion
improves
 the bus and metro services and connect all
station
Suggestion
stations
 with main points inside
also
 outside
city
Suggestion
the city
 so that passengers can reach all main
point
Suggestion
points
 from their house to main points without using
car
Suggestion
a car
.
Moreover
, government support transportation
fare which
Accept comma addition
fare, which
make
Suggestion
makes
 it more attractive. In conclusion,
although
 I recognized that the vast amount of
car
 cause
massive traffic jam
Suggestion
a massive traffic jam
. I
would argued
Suggestion
would argue
 that the sufficient
infrastructure
 and transportation can reduce that issue.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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