IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that art is an essential subject and every child should learn it in school. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #art #child #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued by some that
art
Use synonyms
 should be made a mandatory subject in the classroom for every young
one
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because enforcing a subject might affect a
child
Use synonyms
's academic performance and
also
Linking Words
 prevent them from getting decent jobs later in life.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
art
Use synonyms
 should not be made compulsory in school because forcing a
child
Use synonyms
 to learn
this
Linking Words
 could affect the youngster if he is not interested in the course.
In other words
Linking Words
, a
child
Use synonyms
 might have a flair for other subjects like science, mathematics and if he attends a school where
art
Use synonyms
 is essential, the academic capabilities of
this
Linking Words
 young
one
Use synonyms
 will not be fully maximized, and
this
Linking Words
 will drastically result in the
child
Use synonyms
 performing badly in school.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, other important subjects like science and technology are more beneficial because they will increase the
child
Use synonyms
's ability of getting decent jobs in the future.
That is
Linking Words
, limiting a
child
Use synonyms
 to focus on
art
Use synonyms
 cripples the little
one
Use synonyms
's future prospects as areas
such
Linking Words
 as science and technology increases
one
Use synonyms
's chances of getting high paying careers in the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
, most parents would rather prefer their offsprings studying subjects that improve their career prospects than courses related to arts which might not yield as much as technological courses.
For example
Linking Words
, it has been reported by the Nigerian Labour Congress in 2019 that graduates have better chances of getting offers in scientific and technical fields than other counterparts. To conclude, it is highly necessary that subjects like
art
Use synonyms
 is not forced on children as
this
Linking Words
 might affect the performance of the offspring in the classroom and
also
Linking Words
 limit the
child
Use synonyms
's ability of getting lucrative jobs down the line.
Submitted by Mabel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: