IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

are these shows a good method of finding talented people, or are they just entertainment?

#method #people #entertainment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, many
television
Use synonyms
 programs are searching for talented people and the programs have been famous in many communities. Lots of human beings believe that the shows are a better way of looking for talented people, whereas some think that they just entertain the society.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both points of view. With regard to the talented show programs, most
man kinds
all of the living human inhabitants of the earth
mankinds
main kinds
 think that it is a good method of searching gifted individuals, because sometimes the programs take the candidate from street singers and musicians. The program can dignify many street performers and make them popular.
For example
Linking Words
, a boy band from America, One Direction, has become popular in many societies in the world from X-Factor which one of the talented show program in America.
However
Linking Words
, many believe that they just entertain mankind and profitably the
television
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, when the
television
Use synonyms
perform
Suggestion
performs
 the talented shows, the
television
Use synonyms
 will perform many advertisements on its program. So I think, the inhabitants are just an object of
Use synonyms
television's commercial
Suggestion
the television commercial
television commercial
a television commercial
television commercials
.
Then
Linking Words
, another reason why it just for entertaining people, most of the talented shows do not include an education for adult or children, they just focus on their rating and profit, but they ignore the precious value for persons. In my view, it is useless for human beings. To sum up,
although
Linking Words
 some people argue that televised talent shows are a good method of finding talented people, I would argue they are just entertainment programs and there is no precious and educational value for communities and children. I think the programs just to commerce for TV stations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: