Some people think art such as sculpture and music cannot improve quality of people’s lives so the government should not spend money on them but on health and defense. What is your opinion?

#people #art #sculpture #music #quality #people’s #lives #government #money #health #defense

Many believe that fields related to arts

such

music

and sculptures cannot bring about improvement in our lives, whereas people’s lives could be much improved if the governing bodies allocate more budgets to

health

and

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

department of the country. Subjectively, I am inclined to firmly conquer by

this

assertion that

health

and

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

are way more important for the quality life rather than having good state of

art

Suggestion

the art

This

easy

Suggestion

easement

will shed light upon the

imperativeness

requiring attention or action

imperatives

of the

health

and

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

for public prosperity with supporting arguments.

Firstly

, I believe due to the fruitful benefits of good

health

population

Suggestion

the population

, state must prioritize the impoverishment of

health

facilities as the good

labor

a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages

labour

force is an important parameter in

country’s GDP

Suggestion

the country’s GDP

Thus

the government must consider providing subsidized

health

facilities to its public, so that healthy population can be grown.

Secondly

, the

music

is a luxury item in my opinion, anyone who needs to entertain themselves they can always go and listen to the paid

music

This

facility is not useful for

everybody

Accept comma addition

everybody, thus

thus

the government can be little worried to expand arts to all.

Furthermore

, nearly all countries are at stake of instability and terrorism,

therefore

it is direly required that governing bodies must consider providing

the safe

Suggestion

the safest

environment for its residents.

This

can only be possible until the budget for security and

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

weapons is ensured.

Although

, the

art

also

plays a role in shaping the society, yet I believe that if the society is not secure the

art

can never

last

longer

Suggestion

long

. To summarize the above mentioned, I am predisposed to argue that

importance

Suggestion

the importance

of the heath and

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

is eclipsed by the

art

and

music

hence

the government should promote

health

and

defense

(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies

defence

more than of

art

music

Mon Aug 26 2019

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In today’s modern era, some people think that if workers get a job early and stick with it throughout their careers, they will be more successful than others changing jobs frequently. This writer agrees with this statement and will explain during the essay.
5.5
band
Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep job separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Some believe that spending time with your co-workers after work is beneficial to us, while others suggest that it is essential to maintain social distancing with your colleagues. In this essay, I will elaborate on both sides of the view, and I partially agree on the necessity of having good relationships with colleagues.
8
band
People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than that only locally made. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s globalized world, people have the opportunity to consume food from different parts of the globe. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages. After analyzing both sides of the argument, I believe that the benefits surpass the drawbacks.
6
band
In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Urbanization has been a debatable topic in the world because it has been impacting the numbers of population in rural areas. The advantages of shifting population in the city are better job opportunities and facilities than in rural areas. However, the decreasing number of people that live in urban areas would bring some burden such as the strain on urban infrastructure. I wholeheartedly argue that urbanization brings more negative effects.
7.5
band
Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?
We humans have always had a penchant for purchasing items that we often do not use effectively. Thereby, some people accumulate a significant amount of debt without any signs of paying it back. It is my contention that although there are certain characteristical properties that might lead to this position, numerous alleviating techniques are also available to cope with this unwanted behaviour among many individuals.

Some people think art such as sculpture and music cannot improve quality of people’s lives so the government should not spend money on them but on health and defense. What is your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think that people who choose a job early and keep doing it are more likely to get a satisfying career life than those who frequently change jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is a good idea to socialize with colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it is important to keep job separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown in other areas. As a result, people eat more food produced in other regions than that only locally made. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and are unable to afford. What are the reasons for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?