IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Success in business can be assured if you have great marketing and promotion. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#success #business #promotion
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We are living in an era which is marked by
digital revolution
Suggestion
the digital revolution
. From the daily routines to
business
Use synonyms
 digital world
has impacted
Suggestion
is impacting
 everything. With
this
Linking Words
 change, some people believe that for a
business
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 to be successful, it must have excellent marketing and promotion. In my opinion, advertising is always the
second
Linking Words
 most important thing,
primary
Suggestion
primarily
being focusing
Suggestion
focussing
focus
have focused
focused
 on the main
product
Use synonyms
/ service. Marketing a
business
Use synonyms
 has great benefits.
Firstly
Linking Words
, a large group of people get to know about it. Obviously, the more the awareness, more will be your customers.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it brings customers on the right side. A customer is able to make
more knowledge able guess
Suggestion
a more knowledgeable guess
more knowledgeable guess
more knowledgeable guesses
 of the
product
Use synonyms
 after seeing an advertisement.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, a market space gets created for the
business
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, when android phones came, they were not the utmost priority
of
Suggestion
for
 everyone. It was because of their promotion that they got noticed and their need was felt.
However
Linking Words
, simply having promoted a
product
Use synonyms
 is not enough. One surely gets to know about the
Use synonyms
business but
Accept comma addition
business, but
 after a certain time, it all depends on how good the
product
Use synonyms
/service is. Even more, if the marketing team promotes a
product
Use synonyms
 in a way
that is
Linking Words
 different from the actual
product
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, it leads to distrust among consumers about the
business
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. Overall, in my opinion, we as individuals are quick to make decisions and the marketing of a
product
Use synonyms
surely plays
Suggestion
surely play
 a very important role.
However
Linking Words
, it is not the only deciding factor. The final success of a
business
Use synonyms
 depends both on the efficiency of
Use synonyms
product
Suggestion
the product
 and its marketing.
Submitted by ishitpatra on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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