IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think governments should spend money on faster means of public transport. However, others think money should be spent on other priorities (such as the environment). Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #money #transport #priorities #environment
It is true that some people believe that there should be increased spending by national and local authorities on a faster public
transport
 network.
While
this
 would provide useful benefits, I agree with those who consider that government resources should be allocated to more important priorities, especially
protection
Add an article
the protection
show examples
 of the environment. On the one hand, investment in faster means of public
transport
 would,
above all
, encourage a reduction in the use of private cars. In terms of travelling in the city, traffic grinds to a halt during peak commuting times. Many cities have reduced
this
 problem by spending public money on
park and ride
Add a hyphen
park-and-ride
show examples
 schemes,
integrated
Correct word choice
and integrated
show examples
transport
 systems or have followed the example of Hong Kong in introducing light rail transit systems.
Such
 steps have speeded up journey times by easing traffic flow. From a nationwide perspective, faster inter-city rail services,
such
 as Japan’s famous bullet trains, have
also
 encouraged motorists to leave their cars at home.
On the other hand
, I concur with the view that it is more important for governments to prioritize expenditure on other areas, particularly the environment.
Firstly
, the consequences of an ecological crisis will be
farreaching
Correct your spelling
far-reaching
show examples
. If global warming continues,
for example
, humanity faces the possibility of extinction and no cost is too high for governments to pay in order to prevent
such
 a catastrophe.
Secondly
, spending on reducing pollution will bring benefits for health, especially in cleaner air and water.
Finally
, by providing funding for renewable energy, governments will be able to meet their international obligations to reduce their carbon footprint. In conclusion,
although
 money should be spent on developing faster public
transport
, I believe that public spending on other priorities
such
 as the environment is more important.

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task response
Ensure that the essay thoroughly addresses all parts of the question while maintaining a clear position throughout.
coherence and cohesion
The organization and linking of ideas is generally good, but ensure that the logical structure is consistent throughout the essay.
lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary and uses appropriate and effective word choices.
grammatical range
There are instances of complex sentence structures, but some errors and inconsistencies in grammar and punctuation detract from the overall fluency and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • reliance
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable development
  • conservation efforts
  • pollution
  • traffic jams
  • sustainability
  • urban living
  • prioritizing
  • environmental protection
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