When a new town is planned, it is more important to develop public parks and sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time in. To what extent do agree or disagree?

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It is considered that when designing and building a new town, it is more crucial to construct public parks and sports facilities
instead
Linking Words
of shopping malls for people to spend their leisure time. From my perspective, I agree that providing more public and sports facilities is more imperative than building shopping centres.  
First
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, Public parks and sports facilities cater to a wide range of recreational pursuit and they are
flatforms
a raised horizontal surface
platforms
flat forms
for promoting a healthy lifestyle. With an open atmosphere and natural areas, public parks provide residents with opportunities to connect with nature.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, these places are habitats of
wildlife flora
Accept comma addition
wildlife, flora
and fauna, providing incentives for people to observe and take
photographies
a representation of a person or scene in the form of a print or transparent slide; recorded by a camera on light-sensitive material
photographs
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, since the world’s population is increasingly urbanized, today
people especially
Accept comma addition
people, especially
young people live a sedentary lifestyle and
this
Linking Words
lead to various health problems
such
Linking Words
as obesity.
Hence
Linking Words
, developing sports facilities
is
Suggestion
are
an essential investment as it encourages citizens to establish an active lifestyle.  
Second
Linking Words
, building shopping malls
is
Suggestion
are
harmful to the environment as it results in deforestation. Admittedly, shopping malls are usually constructed on wildlife species’ habitats, they
also
Linking Words
occupied large areas using
for
being one more than three
four
buildings and car parks
instead
Linking Words
of trees or grass. Recent research concluded that more than 76%
per cent
a proportion in relation to a whole (which is usually the amount per hundred)
percent
of the forests in Quang Tri are destructed to give
spaces
Suggestion
space
for new shopping malls.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, shopping centres are virtually located far from the town centre.
This
Linking Words
synonymous
with people
Accept comma addition
with, people
have to travel by cars to reach these places,
thus
Linking Words
, leading to an increased amount of greenhouse emissions in the atmosphere.   In conclusion, I believe that
instead
Linking Words
of building shopping centres, people should develop public parks and sports facilities as they are of tremendous benefit for public health.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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