IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The most important aspect of a job is the money a person earns. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#aspect #job #money #person #support
Many people consider the amount of
money
 that they can earn as the standard to choose a job, or widely to build a career. In my view, I agree that high salary is an important criterion to consider beside many other aspects, but it is not the most crucial. It is honest to say that one of the most important reasons why people have jobs is earning as much as possible. People earn
money
 through jobs to gain financial independence in the end. With their own
money
, they can pay for whatever they want in the life
such
 as a memorable tour, a delicious meal, fashionable costume, etc.
Furthermore
, they can prepare an early retirement without being concerned about financially depending on someone or the government.
In addition
, the salary earned equals a worker’s value
at
Suggestion
in
of
 the company. The employers ought to pay a lot of
money
 to keep excellent employees to work for them.
Therefore
, the more
staff
the tangible substance that goes into the makeup of a physical object
stuff
are paid
Suggestion
is paid
, the more precious they are.
On the other hand
, there are many other aspects of a job apart from salary. As people always have a dream to pursue through their jobs, they can make their dreams come true and satisfy themselves.
For example
, many people dream of being artists or
singers but
Accept comma addition
singers, but
 only
small percentage
Suggestion
a small percentage
 of them become celebrities and earn enough
money
 to live comfortably.
Also
, some people want to contribute to the society rather than earning
money
. Take charity as an example. Volunteering to help other people, they
aren’t paid
Suggestion
don’t pay
 much, sometimes they have to spend their own
money
. The most rewarding stuff they have is the joy of helping people with hard circumstances. To sum up, it is hard to choose the most important aspect of a job because it depends on people’s aims
Submitted by anhson0402 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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