Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates have more influence on a child’s success at school than parents do. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

There are factors that may influence a child’s
achievements
Suggestion
achievement
. Some people say that children are affected by their friends at
school
more than by their parents, but others disagree. In my opinion, each person is influenced by a lot of relations and they supplement each other, but parents seem to be more influential.
Firstly
, a child’s
success
at
school
depends more on parents because of some obvious reasons. To reach
success
at
school
, parents give children not only emotional encouragements but
also
financial support
such
as choosing high-quality classes, well-qualified teachers, buying tools to help with study, etc.
Secondly
, parents teach children have
good attitude
Suggestion
a good attitude
good attitudes
to everybody, so people will feel comfortable to help their kids solve problems at
school
.
Thirdly
, parents are those who always pay close attention to children’s development, so they will have a long-term influence on a child, which helps the kid succeed at
school
and in the society.
On the other hand
, classmates affect a child’s
success
at
school
in a different way. They spend time together studying and doing exercises. They can cooperate, or sometimes compete with each other.
Also fellows
Accept comma addition
Also, fellows
of the same age usually have more interests and values in common, and they can help one another develop abilities and skills. To sum up, classmates have some effects on their friends, but parents have more influence on children’s
success
in many aspects from material to spirit. With their own experience, they easily lead their children on the road to
success
.
Submitted by anhson0402 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: