Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?

Some people believe that there should be compulsory classes in sports for a few days a week
whereas
others are opposed to it.
Nevertheless
, I strongly agree with the given notion
due to
several reasons,
for example
, decreasing the ratio of diseases, and their physical and mental strength and the following paragraphs will expatiate both stances in detail with lucid examples.
To begin
with, the foremost reason to agree is that it could be helpful to reduce the percentage of life-threatening diseases in the future
such
as heart problems and obesity. To explain
further
, a growing number of teenagers are suffering from these diseases because of their sedentary lifestyles. 80% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children,
for instance
, have suffered from obesity from their childhood in Western countries owing to
less
Add a missing verb
being less
show examples
active in outside activities.
Thus
, it is crucial for youngsters to perform some physical activities in advance to reduce health care costs in the future.
Secondly
, these exercises are not only helpful for physical fitness but
also
for mental fitness.
This
means that these performances are the key element to learning how to handle stressful situations in life namely successes and failures. 80% of students, to illustrate, are finding themselves more relaxed
as well as
active owing to physical games like cricket and badminton in India rather than online ones.
Therefore
, making sports events compulsory at an early age is helpful for kids to grow physically and mentally.
To conclude
, there has been a big debate about whether extracurricular games should be compulsory in the education system or not. Some folks opine that it is crucial for their development
although
others are opposed to it.
Nevertheless
, I agree with the latter statement as these games are playing a crucial role in the decline in the ratio of health risks and body and mind well-being.
Submitted by buttargurpinder73 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that examples given are specific and clearly support the argument. Avoid overgeneralizing statistics without sources.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking ideas and arguments more effectively to ensure a smoother flow. Transitional phrases could be used more consistently.
lexical resource
Strive for a broader lexical range by varying word choice and avoiding repetition. Aim to use less common and more precise vocabulary.
grammatical range accuracy
Aim for a greater variety of complex sentence structures while ensuring grammatical accuracy. Avoid errors that can hinder meaning.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Mandatory
  • Physical activity
  • Mental well-being
  • Cardiovascular health
  • Peer interaction
  • Motivation
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Health curriculum
  • Fitness culture
  • Academic performance
  • Compulsory participation
  • Incentivizing
  • Physical education
  • Overall well-being
What to do next:
Look at other essays: