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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Due to the development and rapid expansion of supermarkets in some countries, many small, local business are unable to compete. Some people think that the closure of local business will bring about the death of local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#development #expansion #supermarkets #countries #business #people #closure #death #communities
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As supermarkets are
propping
a sharp explosive sound as from a gunshot or drawing a cork
popping
 up throughout the country, small businesses are finding it hard to compete with them. According to some people
this
Linking Words
 trend leads to closure of these
business
Suggestion
businesses
 and eventually death of the local communities. I totally agree with
this
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 point of view. Because with loss of livelihood these communities are forced to seek alternatives. Smaller businesses not only sustain
themselves but
Accept comma addition
themselves, but
 they
also
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 sustain the
community
Use synonyms
 in which they operate. Usually the workforce is hired from within the
community
Use synonyms
 itself. When supermarkets moves
is
Suggestion
are
 they
also
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 bring in
jobs but
Accept comma addition
jobs, but
 only in retail, as most of the products are sourced from outside. That means a sizeable population related to the small businesses become jobless. They in
turn
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turn, then
then
Linking Words
 have to seek for opportunities in the cities and have to move out of the
community
Use synonyms
. Small businesses
also
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 have to compete with foreign competitors whose products are carried by the supermarkets. Products from developing nations are
also
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 available at the supermarket which are much cheaper than that of the local businesses.
This
Linking Words
 results in loss of business for them and they
also
Linking Words
 have to either cut cost or go out of business. Employees of these businesses who are from the
community
Use synonyms
 go jobless and are eventually forced to either switch profession or move out. As more and more employable people are forced to make switch to either lower paying jobs or relocate, the
community
Use synonyms
 faces a demographic change as well. In the end, I believe the above points highlights some of the aspects that leads to communities eventually dying out because of the expansion of supermarkets.
Submitted by thephpx on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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