The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.

The charts illustrate four types of destination including part-time work, voluntary work, further study and unemployment that graduate and postgraduate students did after leaving the university in 2008.
The charts illustrate four types of destination
included
Wrong verb form
including
show examples
part-time
work
, voluntary
work
,
further
study and unemployment that
graduate
and postgraduate
students
did
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
after leaving the university in 2008.  
Overall
, most of the
graduate
and postgraduate
students
studied in higher education,
whereas
the fewest of
graduate
and postgraduate
students
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
a volunteer.   In the first chart, most of the
graduate
students
studied in postgraduate programs, the amount of
this
group was 29,665
students
. Both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and unemployment had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
little difference in the
number
of
students
in each group, there were 17,735
students
for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and 16,235
students
for
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
unemployment. The fewest
number
of
graduate
students
was a volunteer (3,500  
students
)  
In the
Change preposition
The
show examples
second
chart, it had 2,725 postgraduate
students
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
doctoral degrees, the
number
of
this
student group
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
than the
number
of postgraduate
students
who did
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
work
not much (2,535
students
did
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part-time
work
). The fewest postgraduate
students
did voluntary
work
(345
students
).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 95%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, graduate, students, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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