IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

News stories on TV and in newspapers are very often accompanied by pictures. Some people say that these pictures are more effective than words. Whats your opinion about it?

#news #stories #tv #newspapers #pictures #people #whats
The
pictures
 are accompanied in most of the TV and newspapers to present new
stories
 very frequently. Recently there
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 different
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
 carried, some
people
 say
pictures
 are more effective and another set of
people
 has
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
 view that
words
 will have more impact and effect. In my opinion,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
words
 will have more emphasis on readers and viewers rather than
pictures
. Newfangled
stories
 telecasted
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 television and written in newspapers have concentrated more
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a picture.
This
 will not keep the attention of the viewers or readers, since what you see as
picture
Correct article usage
a picture
show examples
mind
 cannot
retain
Wrong verb form
be retained
show examples
 for a long time and
convey
Wrong verb form
conveyed
show examples
 to the outside world. The reason is,
most
Correct word choice
that most
show examples
 of the
viewer's
Change the noun form
viewers
viewer
show examples
 will not have proficient observation skills,
due to
 which
message
Correct article usage
the message
show examples
 will not
convey
Wrong verb form
be conveyed
show examples
 properly.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent study by "Brain Games"
mind
Correct article usage
a mind
show examples
 reading company revealed that 75% of
people
 cannot keep
pictures
 in
mind
 for a long time.
To conclude
,
stories
 accompanied by
pictures
 will not have
expected
Correct article usage
the expected
show examples
 impact on the viewers.
Words
 are the way to express our opinions.
This
 will retain
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the human memory for a long time and has a significant effect. The reason is, as you read
words
 abstract visualization will start in your
mind
.
This
 will have more emphasis.
For instance
,
science
Correct article usage
a science
show examples
 journal published recently proved
90
Correct word choice
that 90
show examples
% of
people
 who read
words
 can convey the
stories
 in a better way. They can
also
 attract
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 attention. To summarise,
words
 have more power rather than
pictures
. More visuals are accompanied
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 making new documentaries both in electronic and print media. The
pictures
are accompanied
Verb problem
apply
show examples
will not have
expected
Correct article usage
the expected
show examples
 effect.
Words
 will be logical and have prominent emphasis. My opinion is
words
 are more powerful than
pictures
 and will be effective.
Submitted by malur.girish on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer introduction that clearly states your opinion and the reasons for it.
task achievement
Expand on your main points and provide more specific examples to support your argument.
grammatical range and accuracy
Improve sentence structures and use more varied vocabulary.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convey
  • emotions
  • capture
  • attention
  • evoke
  • impact
  • context
  • detailed information
  • journalism
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