IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit the teenagers and the community as well. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view? Share personal examples if applicable.

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit #point
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Volunteerism is the practice of providing service without monetary compensation. It is argued that adolescents should be required to engage in volunteer
community
work
 in their free time. The advantages
this
 arrangement brings to both teenagers and the communities they come from will be shown in
this
 essay. For one,
teenaged
Correct your spelling
teenage
show examples
community
 workers gain life experience that could be helpful to their development as empathetic individuals.
For example
, as a high school
student
Add a comma
student,
show examples
 I once washed and folded bedding for a non-profit group that provided housing to the homeless in Ottawa.
This
 philanthropic endeavor helped instill in me an understanding of the challenges other
people
 face in their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 lives. As my experience shows, humbling volunteer
work
 should be made mandatory to help youths recognize and respect
people
 from other walks of life.
In addition
 to being beneficial to young
people
, adolescents who engage in
community
 service provide valuable
work
 for society.
For instance
,
while
 in Shanghai I remember seeing young members of a church
community
 donate their time to picking up street garbage. As anyone who has been to Shanghai knows, the litter that lines most streets gives the city an unwelcoming appearance.
Thus
, the value that these young
people
brought
Wrong verb form
bring
show examples
 to their
community
 illustrates yet another reason why mandatory youth volunteer
work
 should be supported. After looking at how adolescent volunteers benefit both themselves and their communities,
it is clear that
 compulsory public
work
 among youths is a positive thing. It is hoped high schools everywhere arrange programs to help their students contribute time to society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: