The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

The graph below shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.
The graph gives information regarding people going to cinemas on different days in a European country in 2003, 2005 and 2007. For
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
2003, the figure
color
Change the spelling
colour
show examples
is blue,
2005
Change preposition
in 2005
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
red, 2007
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
green.
According to
the graph, people often went to cinemas mostly on
Friday
,
Saturday
and Sunday.
However
, among them,
Saturday
holds the trophy for having the most audiences
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
year
, especially in 2005; making
around
Change preposition
up around
show examples
45% of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
.
On the other hand
, Monday is the lowest out of all, having merely around 8% in 2007. Interestingly, on
Friday
in each
year
, the figures are the same spot, which means that there is no difference
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the number on
Friday
. To specify, in 2003, the graph is
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stable,
starts
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
from 10% to 40%,
then
it goes down to 30% on Sunday. Kind of similar to the previous
year
, the growth is
also
stable.
However
, there is a quite big jump between Thursday and
Friday
. It increases from around 13% to 30%. At
last
, in 2007, the growth is quite massive each day, especially
on
Change preposition
from
show examples
Wednesday to
Saturday
.
This
concludes that most people enjoy going to cinemas on
Saturday
.
Submitted by yeonatav on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year, friday, saturday with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: