IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this happen? Do you think it is a good or negative

#countries #home #people #happen
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In different areas of the world,
people
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 are more likely to buy a
house
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instead
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 of renting because of several reasons and it has some negative and positive consequences. I firmly believe that owning a
house
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 is the best way to live and I will elaborate my arguments in the following paragraphs. On the one hand, most
people
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 tend to buy a
house
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 because they consider it more reasonable than other ways
such
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 as hiring. The proponents of
this
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 idea believe that hiring prices are seemingly increasing day by day
due to
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 financial problems.
For instance
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, food, grocery, pharmacy and fuel prices show an upward trend these days and it
also
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 affects
house
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 renting, because homeowners want to earn more money to pay for daily needs. The other reason why I support buying an apartment is it gives a sense of comfort. To illustrate, if individuals have an apartment they should not think about the hire budget and
this
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 will reduce their stress level.
Furthermore
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, pupils may spend money on various items
such
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 as clothes, travel or education and it will increase the life quality of the citizens.
According to
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 the Az Xakar, in Azerbaijan, 80 per cent of the citizens have at least one
house
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 and they look more satisfied.
On the other hand
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,
although
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 owning a private home has some profits, there are some drawbacks that exist.
Firstly
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, an apartment is extremely expensive and it is possible that some pupils can not afford it because of several issues
such
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 as working with a low salary. To look at detail, several families are extended and they need more money to get their daily important needs
such
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 as food, clothes or medicine and it leads to homelessness.
However
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, if poor
people
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 want to purchase a home they would restrict their life.
For example
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, children should buy fewer books for education or the members of the family should eat less meat because it is expensive and all these things may lead to detrimental consequences
such
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 as unhealthy persons, and unintellectual students which are main problems in Africa because of the same reasons. In conclusion, despite all the disadvantages of owning a home, I consider it gives profound contributions to
people
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 to improve their lives quality level.
Submitted by znezerli209 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses clearly on one main idea and that each sentence relates to this central topic.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by elaborating on the negative aspects of owning a home.
task achievement
Be careful with vocabulary usage to ensure that it accurately conveys your meaning.
task achievement
The essay clearly outlines reasons for why owning a home is prioritized and discusses both positive and negative consequences.
task achievement
Effective use of examples, such as mentioning rising living costs and specific statistics, helps to illustrate points.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, providing a cohesive structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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