IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Art is considered to dcuhsdu dccusdcu asuduohawdiladj eIODFSDUCH ADIOC SDC

#art #dcuhsdu #dccusdcu #asuduohawdiladj #eiodfsduch #adioc #sdc
Its
Suggestion
It's
 a common belief that
art
 is the reflection of the society and its cultural heritage. A person would be able to understand more about the society, by studying
art
. While I agree, that
its
it is
it's
 important for children to get exposure of
art
 from
younger age
Suggestion
a younger age
, but, proportionate focus on other subjects is
also
 important for a holistic development of a child.
First
 of all,
art
 is a
subject
, which needs to be taught by an experienced teacher, who should have proper
knowldge
the psychological result of perception and learning and reasoning
knowledge
 about the
subject
.
Otherwise
, he or she will make the
subject
 monotonous for children to understand,
cosequently
(sentence connectors) because of the reason given
consequently
 they will lose the interest.
Moreover
, children are
flag
Suggestion
the flag
-bearers of the generation, who would take the culture forward.
Hence
 the understanding of
one
's culture is compulsory. To make
subject interesting
Suggestion
the subject interesting
, the schools and colleges should organise trips and excursions to the places which help the students to understand more about the
subject
 along with theoretical instructions. On the flip side, with advancement in the technology and other fields, there are wider job prospects if
student
Suggestion
the student
a student
 studies subjects,
such
 as science or law.
Although
, governments are providing subsidies and scholarships to students studying
arts
Suggestion
art
, but the processes
one
 has to undergo to get these benefits are not
hassle
Suggestion
hassled
hassling
-free.
Moreover
, these benefits are not at par with the kind of money
one
 can make if he or she is working in other fields, once studies are completed. To conclude, studying
art
 is beneficial for a person to learn
art
, understand the society's background, how the ancestors lived and how culture has evolved.
This
 knowledge is always nice to have but,
this
 should be maintained as an interest and knowledge gained from other subjects should be used by
one
 to earn
living
Suggestion
a living
.
Submitted by eshaansharma88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: