For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#people #favourite #time #activity #activities

Nowadays, Shopping is a significant activity for many young people

to spend

Suggestion

spend

time

with friends, family or individually. Some people think that young people should do different activities rather than shopping

Suggestion

their free

time

This

essay will examine why many young people are passionate about shopping.

Firstly

, fashion is a massive trend for young people these days. What they wear or have is becoming the tool to show their status. I believe that social networks

such

instagram

facebook

Suggestion

Facebook

or snap chat influence

this

phenomenon. Especially because seeing young people

check

Suggestion

checking

those social networks hourly or even every

second

to see what their friends do or to what they do?, and they tend to judge their value.

On the other hand

, shopping is a great way to spend

time

with friends, family or individually. As I mentioned, most people are spending their times on social networks. Considering that, the shopping activity helps for people to stop the habit and, spend

time

with friends and family in person.

For example

, when I was a student, we used to go to the shopping mall to hang out with friends after school. Even though we did not have much money to spend,

although

we walked around the mall together and had conversations which are still memorable.

However

, some people think that young people should do different activities

such

as swimming, playing tennis or any other sport.

Personally I

Accept comma addition

Personally, I

believe, they may be valuable for young people to develop physical skills or maintain their health rather than going shopping. In conclusion, young people gain confidence and social skills on from shopping,

on the other hand

, sports activities need to be considered to maintain their health. In order to keep

this

balance, young people should be encouraged to do both activities.

Tue Sep 03 2019

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

some people think increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to solve global problems. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Many of the products we buy nowadays break or wear out very quickly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this for manufacturers and the public?

It costs a lot of money for a country to host an international sports event, such as the Olympic Games and Football World Cup. Some people think that this is a waste of money, but others believe the opposite. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money should be invested better in other areas. To what extent do you agree with this view?